Whoah. I'm married. There is something radically different between talking about doing it and actually doing it. There is no way to properly describe the overwhelming, breathtaking, amazingly beautiful experience we had on June 16th. There will be photos by the crazy talented Johnson & Thomas coming soon, but for now, my faltering words will have to do.
Everyone told me that I wouldn't remember the little details of the day, that everything would fly by so fast, I would only be able to recall the emotions.
I remember everything.
I remember waking up, my heart skipping a few beats when a realized that this was my wedding day. I remember crying out of pure joy and excitement at the thought that I was about to marry my best friend. I remember not being able to breathe in my dress right when I put it on. I remember standing in the bathtub by window trying to get some air. I remember the rain, the sun, the wind, the rain, the sun, the wind. I like to think it added drama to the day.
I remember Kiera, with her organization and ability to keep me focused, Meleah, with her hard work and loving dedication (i.e. picking up balloons and rain boots for me when it looked like it was going to pour all day), Jamie, with her excitement and enthusiasm for everything that was going down, and ability to keep me emotionally calm, Elly, with her ever calming presence and hand massages (seriously, the most relaxing experience ever).
I remember seeing people rush around me, all doing something important, and being blown away that it was all for us. I remember praying before we all went down to the pasture, and how my mom asked God to bless us with "hundreds of fat babies." I remember my sister snapping me out of my nerves in her own unique way... "Hey. Look at me. I love you. You're fine, you can do this." I remember my dad holding my hand as he walked me down the aisle. I remember not being able to see Drew at first, because everyone was standing, but that just made it even more amazing when our eyes met for the first time. I remember not being able to stop giggling during the ceremony, and trying to have a full conversation silently, at which we almost succeeded. I remember Ben playing and singing, while we photographed each other, and the extreme rush of emotions that came in that moment. I remember forgetting that I had given everyone confetti to throw at us as we ran back up the aisle, and being both shocked and delighted by the face full of coloured paper we received. I remember hating every second of our first dance, only because I was wishing, just in that moment, that it was just the two of us.
I remember the toasts, being so moved by everyone's words... Jim, Kiera, Meleah... my Dad. Wow. His sincerity and bravery, his determination to wear his heart on his sleeve in that one moment is a memory that will never fade. I remember our get away- how incredibly unsuccessful it was. We had to come back 3 times, because we kept forgetting things.
The list goes on.
Somehow, every moment is crystal clear in my mind. I'm sure they will fade over time into a joyful blur, but for now I'll hold on, because there were too many beautiful moments to let go just yet.